Many people have wondered why Seaver Miller has not appeared in any IFOCE events since the pretzel contest on the Tyra Banks show after making a strong run at the IFOCE rookie of the year in 2006. Paul Barlow has solved this mystery and sent the following email reprinted below with Seaver’s permission. It is too bad that Seaver will not be able to compete in another eating contest, but fortunately the condition which has led to his retirement appears to be under control.

I have been in contact with Seaver Miller a few times over the last several months, and with his blessing, can now reveal what happened to our favorite foraging fireman.

Initially, I thought maybe he was going to be on a reality show, and was secluded somewhere outside the U.S.A. Visions of him “stealing my spot” on Survivor filled my head, and after I’ve sent in 13 videos, I thought maybe the producers called IFOCE headquarters looking for a young, handsome substitute great eater, instead of being stuck with an old, handsome, mediocre eater to put on their show. Was this to be yet another TV appearance denied???

Turns out, I was once again, extremely wrong….a pattern that repeats throughout my life (just ask my wife). Seaver told me, around April, that he had a mysterious-possibly deadly aliment that would keep him out of action indefinetly. He didn’t want to tell me what it was, fearing the worst. I still wasn’t quite sure if this was true, and that he said this just to avoid my jealous reality contestant wanna-be wrath. It was true, and Seaver has gone through a lot this year.

It turns out that he went to the doctor, and they found pollups(sp?) on his lymph nodes – which, at the time, caused him to be worried about cancer, among other terrors. The scond time we talked, he was still figuring out what was going on, and I was worried, he sounded like a man who was really playing survivor – for his life, not for TV. He swore me to secrecy, and I kept my word, only “hinting” to Hall Hunt – who I know has a direct connection upstairs – so Hall could put Seaver in his prayers. My upstairs connections are pretty much destroyed after 38 years of being an insane bachelor, who has since been “shackled”, and forced to be a good father, and wanna-be good eater.

My next calls to Seaver resulted in answering machines, which scared me more. Either he blocked me out, or maybe he was in some hospital, or some cemetary plot, or on some island getting voted out. Finally this week, I heard from the hydrant harraser, and now the mystery has been solved with both good news, and sad news for all faithful fireman followers.

It turns out, Seaver has what is called a “lazy intestine”. This basically means the thing doesn’t process food like it should, so it keeps him messed up – stomach wise. He does not have cancer, but is on a lot of medication, so competitve eating is out of the question. He informed me this also eliminates him from any reality shows, so my spot on Survivor is still open. I am certainly glad he is as OK as possible, and hope he can at least attend some of our events – Seaver is a great guy with a nice family, and in his brief, but star-studded role, in our galaxy of gluttony, he was a welcome addition.to any contest….even though his presence meant I would finish eighth instead of seventh. Hurrah for Seaver “The Acheiver” Miller, may his life torch stay lit for a long time!

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