Seaver Miller update from Paul Barlow

Many people have wondered why Seaver Miller has not appeared in any IFOCE events since the pretzel contest on the Tyra Banks show after making a strong run at the IFOCE rookie of the year in 2006. Paul Barlow has solved this mystery and sent the following email reprinted below with Seaver’s permission. It is too bad that Seaver will not be able to compete in another eating contest, but fortunately the condition which has led to his retirement appears to be under control.

I have been in contact with Seaver Miller a few times over the last several months, and with his blessing, can now reveal what happened to our favorite foraging fireman.

Initially, I thought maybe he was going to be on a reality show, and was secluded somewhere outside the U.S.A. Visions of him “stealing my spot” on Survivor filled my head, and after I’ve sent in 13 videos, I thought maybe the producers called IFOCE headquarters looking for a young, handsome substitute great eater, instead of being stuck with an old, handsome, mediocre eater to put on their show. Was this to be yet another TV appearance denied???

Turns out, I was once again, extremely wrong….a pattern that repeats throughout my life (just ask my wife). Seaver told me, around April, that he had a mysterious-possibly deadly aliment that would keep him out of action indefinetly. He didn’t want to tell me what it was, fearing the worst. I still wasn’t quite sure if this was true, and that he said this just to avoid my jealous reality contestant wanna-be wrath. It was true, and Seaver has gone through a lot this year.

It turns out that he went to the doctor, and they found pollups(sp?) on his lymph nodes – which, at the time, caused him to be worried about cancer, among other terrors. The scond time we talked, he was still figuring out what was going on, and I was worried, he sounded like a man who was really playing survivor – for his life, not for TV. He swore me to secrecy, and I kept my word, only “hinting” to Hall Hunt – who I know has a direct connection upstairs – so Hall could put Seaver in his prayers. My upstairs connections are pretty much destroyed after 38 years of being an insane bachelor, who has since been “shackled”, and forced to be a good father, and wanna-be good eater.

My next calls to Seaver resulted in answering machines, which scared me more. Either he blocked me out, or maybe he was in some hospital, or some cemetary plot, or on some island getting voted out. Finally this week, I heard from the hydrant harraser, and now the mystery has been solved with both good news, and sad news for all faithful fireman followers.

It turns out, Seaver has what is called a “lazy intestine”. This basically means the thing doesn’t process food like it should, so it keeps him messed up – stomach wise. He does not have cancer, but is on a lot of medication, so competitve eating is out of the question. He informed me this also eliminates him from any reality shows, so my spot on Survivor is still open. I am certainly glad he is as OK as possible, and hope he can at least attend some of our events – Seaver is a great guy with a nice family, and in his brief, but star-studded role, in our galaxy of gluttony, he was a welcome any contest….even though his presence meant I would finish eighth instead of seventh. Hurrah for Seaver “The Acheiver” Miller, may his life torch stay lit for a long time!

Comments (9)


  1. beautifulbrian said

    November 14, 2007 @ 1:15 pm

    This is one great guy. I am glad it wasnt as serious as first diagnosed. I wish him and his family well

  2. Steakbellie said (Registered August 11, 2006)

    November 14, 2007 @ 2:51 pm

    hear, hear!

  3. Rhonda Evans said

    November 14, 2007 @ 3:48 pm

    Seaver we wish you the best and pray for a speedy and full recovery.

  4. Jake from SF said

    November 14, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

    Poor Seaver… why do bad things happen to good people? We’ll all be thinking of you dude.

  5. liz said

    November 14, 2007 @ 4:45 pm

    Continue with a speedy recovery!

  6. The Natural said (Registered October 5, 2006)

    November 14, 2007 @ 6:24 pm

    I’m happy to hear Seaver is doing well..Nice investigative work SP

  7. Bubba said

    November 14, 2007 @ 8:20 pm

    Get well! Glad to hear it’s not as serious as first though.

  8. Bison said

    November 15, 2007 @ 4:09 pm

    I wish you all the best Seaver.

  9. The_Hangman said (Registered August 30, 2006)

    November 15, 2007 @ 8:08 pm

    One thing about being a Pastor is I have many contacts with various faith based Ministries. Seaver Miller’s name has been added to many a prayer list. It has been my honor to have competed with “The Achiever”. Hopefully we will meet again very soon.

    My prayer is that you find the Faith to get through this hard time. Remember Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.

    Keep the fire burning MR Fireman.

    Peace Brother. You are Loved
    Pastor Bruce
    AKA: The Hangman

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